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You accept a good friend that you savour spending time with, and you want to get to know them on a more intimate level. Should y'all enquire them out on a date? What if it doesn't piece of work out and your friendship is ruined? Asking out a friend can be nervus wracking because it involves a shift in the type of relationship the two of you lot share. But don't worry—if your friend feels the same fashion, going on a date could bring y'all even closer together. The of import thing to remember is to keep your expectations in check and know the correct time and way to ask.

  1. 1

    Accept a infinitesimal to appraise your ain feelings. How do you really feel about your friend? Perhaps you're simply interested in getting to know them a little better, or maybe you lot've establish that yous're attracted to them and want to get to know them from a different perspective. Feelings are often confusing things. Brand sure you lot've sorted out exactly how y'all feel and what yous desire before y'all try taking things to the next level.[1]

    • Even if y'all're attracted to your friend, you may decide that it's advisable to take things slowly and cautiously if the 2 of you are already close.
  2. 2

    Consider whether your friend feels the aforementioned style. Think about the kind of "vibes" you lot become from your friend. Are the two of you close, or do yous just hang out with the aforementioned grouping of people? Practise they laugh at your jokes and show an interest in what you have to say when you're talking? Try to gauge your friend's feeling equally accurately as you tin. If it's obvious that there's no existent attraction being reciprocated, it might be all-time to hold off on request them out. If they act warmly towards y'all, however, they may have similar feelings, and might have even hoped you'd enquire.[ii] [3]

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  3. 3

    Talk to your other friends about it. If you have another friend that knows the friend in question and y'all feel comfortable talking to them about the situation, inquire their thoughts on how you should proceed. They probably know something y'all don't one fashion or the other, or have unique insights into the matter that might non have occurred to you. Your other friends will eventually notice out if you're dating, so don't make it look similar y'all were keeping it a hugger-mugger from them.

    • If your other friends larn how y'all feel, they may subtly talk to the friend you like, facilitating the procedure.
    • Continue in mind that your other friends are affected by whether or not you start dating. While this shouldn't necessarily prevent you from asking a friend out, show enough respect to be conscientious about your evolving relationship with that friend and what consequences information technology might have.
  4. 4

    Spend some alone time together. The next time your group of friends is hanging out, look for opportunities to pair up or spend some time alone with the friend that you like. This could exist playing a game of pool together, having a thoughtful ane-on-1 conversation at a party or continuing adjacent to each other at a concert. Get comfy with the idea of being alone with your friend and effort to also get a sense of how they experience almost it in these moments.[4] If your friend gravitates to you during hereafter hangouts, it's probably a adept sign.[5]

    • Don't dole out your attention to your friends unfairly. Take an opportunity to spend fourth dimension lone with your friend if one arises, just don't make them feel forced to split off and ignore the balance of your company.
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  1. 1

    Keep your expectations in check. Don't expect too much to happen too presently, if at all. Even if your friend likes you back, they may exist reluctant to do anything that might jeopardize the relationship that the two of you currently have. Whatever your friend decides, you should exist okay with it. If you get too ready on the idea of dating, information technology may come equally a thwarting if your friend declines, which could create distance betwixt the 2 of you as friends.

    • Larn to take "no" for an respond. If your friend agrees to spend fourth dimension with you 1-on-1 but makes it known that they're uneasy with the dating label, accept their position graciously and programme to detect something casual to do.
    • Put whatever misgivings they have about endangering your friendship to rest by assuring them that you'll remain friends regardless of how things turn out.
  2. two

    Make certain the time is correct. Y'all should be taking your friend's feelings into consideration besides equally your own. If they've been giving y'all flirtatious signals, it might be a inkling that they're interested in you and volition agree to a date. If they seem disinterested or you're having trouble reading their feelings, they may exist uncomfortable with the idea. Recognizing the appropriate point to enquire a friend on a date will most often come up down to personal judgment.

    • Information technology's probably better not to ask your friend out in a group setting where they may experience pressure to respond in a certain way.
  3. 3

    Make up one's mind the best fashion to ask. The best way to ask someone on a date in virtually circumstances is face-to-face up. However, since you and your friend already have an established platonic relationship, asking them out direct may be awkward or make them experience pressured. Weigh your options. A friendly phone call might do it, or you could drop the suggestion during a text conversation. Your friend will probably be most acquiescent to the idea of going on a date if it doesn't feel similar a big bargain, and so don't make information technology ane.[half dozen] [7]

    • Call back well-nigh how your friend does most of their communicating and go with their preferred manner. That way cypher feels off when it comes time to broach the subject.
  4. four

    Ask in a friendly, relaxed way. Once y'all've determined how you're going to inquire, work the offer naturally into a conversation with your friend, or be collected and up-front almost it. The two of y'all are already friends, and so at that place should be a common degree of respect and comfort in identify. Frame the question in a way that reinforces that the decision is theirs, and that you lot desire to remain friends either way.[8]

    • It might be easiest to suggest that simply the 2 of you lot practise something together as friends sometime, since this will cause no initial business concern of changing the nature of the relationship. If your desire is to continue dating as more than friends, though, make sure y'all're displaying your intentions honestly.
    • If your friend declines your offer, grin and behave on in an amiable way. He or she will probable exist worried nigh straining the friendship if they turn y'all down. Make sure that they know yous're even so happy to be their friend. It'due south possible that the time but wasn't right, simply now that your friend is enlightened of your feelings they may in time discover that they're attracted to you as well.
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  1. i

    Remember that you're friends. No affair how things progress between you, your friendship is the foundation of your relationship and the most of import thing. This idea should experience like a safety net for you when you're mustering the nerve to ask your friend out. If it'south not what your friend wants or they're not yet open to the possibility, y'all'll have your friendship to autumn dorsum on, and yous should: a truthful friend will understand and be at that place to make sure everything is okay. Even if you start dating and things are going well, don't forget that they were your friend first. The comfort of that bond will make your connection even stronger.

    • Try to think of your new relationship as a branching outgrowth of your friendship, not a replacement for it.
    • All of your interactions should come from a identify of caring and credence. In that location'south no reason for the friendship to endure just considering you're trying to build on information technology.
  2. 2

    Attempt not to neglect your mutual friends. Dating a friend can sometimes cause complications if y'all tend to hang around the aforementioned people. Be upfront with your other friends nigh the situation and let them know that information technology won't change the friendship of the group. Take detail care not to isolate yourselves when you lot're with your mutual friends: this can be easy to practise when yous first begin to date someone, but it might give the remainder of your friends the impression that you're disinterested in them. Since you began as friends, work on cultivating an surroundings where you tin can still spend fourth dimension together even when y'all're involved with someone.[nine] [10]

    • Make some time each week for all of your friends to get together. During this time, involve yourself in the group'due south activities and discussions, and don't brand it feel similar you and the friend you like are separating yourselves from the rest of your friends.[11]
  3. 3

    Don't despair if it doesn't piece of work out. If your dating efforts aren't met with success, don't permit it come betwixt y'all and your friend. You knew to keep your expectations out of the film, so there'south no need to take it too difficult. Not wanting to date may simply hateful that he or she values you lot very highly as a friend, which is a good matter. There's no harm in liking someone, and you shouldn't feel awkward or guilty if y'all tried and things didn't piece of work out. In the worst case scenario, y'all can merely go dorsum to being friends. It's a win-win![12]

    • You shouldn't be embarrassed or experience the need to "punish" your friend if things don't work. Withdrawing from your friend grouping will brand yous appear sulky and may ship the message that yous were only looking to date the person from the beginning.
    • Allowing resentment to build upwards will take its toll on your friendship, which is precisely what you don't want to happen.
  4. four

    Savor each other's visitor. Whether you hit it off on your date or yous don't, take pleasure in being around one another. Starting off as friends means you lot already know you have common interests, can communicate openly and like spending time together. Look at it equally a take a chance to spend some quality time with the person with no thought to the result. Do things that yous both enjoy and relish the occasion to make new experiences and memories with the friendship at the heart of your relationship.[13] [14]

    • For a first date, keep things from feeling too serious by suggesting a short hike or picnic exterior, a casual dinner at ane of your favorite restaurants followed by coffee, or a film.
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Add New Question

  • Question

    Is it alright for my friend and I to exist solitary?

    Community Answer

    Admittedly. In fact, if y'all're considering asking your friend out, spending some fourth dimension solitary with them will be a great way to test the waters and observe out if they share your feelings. Engage your friend in a 1-on-ane conversation the next fourth dimension your friend group is all hanging out and focus your attention on getting to know them on a more intimate level.

  • Question

    How do I ask a girl to a movie as only friends?

    Community Answer

    Just ask! If you're just interested in being friends, make the invitation relaxed and casual. Don't make it seem like a engagement but rather two friends enjoying a movie together, because that'due south what it is.

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  • Make sure that the friendship will not be irrevocably inverse if you ask him or her out. Some people might react to being asked out by a friend differently than others. The concluding thing yous want is to lose a great friend.

  • If your friend turns you downwardly, resist the temptation to try to alter their mind. Accept their conclusion, and proceed the experience in perspective. "No" is disappointing to hear, but it'southward non a reflection of failure or a crusade for shame.

  • Psychologists say that the longest lasting relationships start off as friendships. That beingness said, it can exist difficult establishing romance in a human relationship borne of friendship. Make sure that you transition from friendship to courtship and then to intimacy. Don't leave romance to adventure.

  • If yous're excessively nervous or shy, it may aid to mentally prepare yourself before asking. Program out what you're going to say in accelerate. Rehearse the hypothetical conversation aloud, and ask for feedback from an objective confidant.

  • Call back that friendship does not always interpret into romance. A rejection is not the terminate of your original friendship.

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Reader Success Stories

  • Sammy Q.

    "It worked out for me, we are going to the movies. I asked him by just putting a note in his locker."

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